Two years ago today, thanks to my stunning cast and SITI Company's generous Lab program, Sorry. debuted in New York City. Reception was mixed. It was much more of a play than intended, more ambitious than I'd realized. Rehearsals were limited, so nothing was polished or nuanced. It was a “kitchen sink” approach - throw everything in, see what works. Thanks to the dedication of my actors and their willingness to try anything, do anything asked of them, I was over the moon with their performances on October 5th and 6th.
The first showing on October 5th included two other SITI Lab 2019 projects. Each piece was female driven and spoke to a different aspect of what it means to be a woman. The gorgeous synchronicity and sense of tribe we felt outweighed the disappointment of only showing half of Sorry - there was a 30 minute time limit. We were thrilled to finally witness the birth of each other's work.
The response to Sorry. on October 5th was diverse: amusement, curiosity, encouragement, comprehensive critique, silence. How I longed for the entire play to be witnessed by my SITI Company mentors. In order to perform the entire piece, however, the theater had to be rented an additional day, which mentors were unable to attend.
While the reception of the October 5th staged reading of Sorry. was less than enthusiastic, I did not say, "Sorry.” I made what I wanted to make.
The reception on October 6th was very different. Women of all ages identified with the struggles of the women in Sorry. This was all the encouragement I needed. I knew I was onto something.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
During the Pandemic, I've worked on Sorry. in fits and starts. Random deep dives into mythology and Creation myths; rewrites . . . more rewrites . . . and more rewrites . . . I could rewrite it forever. There's so much material . . . The louder, "me-too" media attention doesn't interest me. What catches my attention are the smaller, day to day, deeper traces of what has been in place for thousands of years.
Two sublime examples of how women are devalued and dismissed occurred at the October 5th staged reading:
After the technical rehearsal for Sorry. , I asked a young male volunteer for the running script back.. He walked over to the trash, reached in, and pulled out my script. Running scripts are marked with lighting and sound cues for the show, often referred to as The Bible. They are sacred. They are not thrown away and certainly not the day before a performance.
Post-reading on October 5th, I overheard two men talking in the lobby about the three pieces they had seen. Sorry. was the third piece:
A: That third piece. I didn’t like it. It was like a Caryl Churchill piece.”
B: Yeah. I don’t know what that is, but I didn’t like it either.”
That comment still pleases me.
Two years later, I discovered the grass-roots level of dismissal women suffer in this country. Without question, this example demonstrates how sexism operates at the highest levels of our federal government:
According to the IRS, my HUSBAND’S name is first on a tax return as the "Primary Taxpayer," even though thanks to a great job in academia, I am the actual "Primary Taxpayer." The IRS takes this positioning on paper very seriously.
So seriously in fact, a payment I made wasn’t credited to our account - because I had used MY social security number and I’m not considered the "Primary Taxpayer." Except that I AM the primary taxpayer, quite literally.
Months after making this payment, we received a bill from the IRS for the exact same amount of money. When we spoke in person, the whole primary/secondary problem was untangled, but the IRS could not find my payment. How could that be possible? Where do payments from "secondary" taxpayers go? Is there a women's portal? Eventually, the IRS miraculously “found” my payment.
I'm sure there will be many more stories . . .
Today is October 5th 2021. We are on the other side of The Pandemic now, mostly, and this play needs air. I’m more than halfway through now, with a final draft. It will be finished very soon. Maybe today.
Happy 2nd Birthday, Sorry.
The first showing on October 5th included two other SITI Lab 2019 projects. Each piece was female driven and spoke to a different aspect of what it means to be a woman. The gorgeous synchronicity and sense of tribe we felt outweighed the disappointment of only showing half of Sorry - there was a 30 minute time limit. We were thrilled to finally witness the birth of each other's work.
The response to Sorry. on October 5th was diverse: amusement, curiosity, encouragement, comprehensive critique, silence. How I longed for the entire play to be witnessed by my SITI Company mentors. In order to perform the entire piece, however, the theater had to be rented an additional day, which mentors were unable to attend.
While the reception of the October 5th staged reading of Sorry. was less than enthusiastic, I did not say, "Sorry.” I made what I wanted to make.
The reception on October 6th was very different. Women of all ages identified with the struggles of the women in Sorry. This was all the encouragement I needed. I knew I was onto something.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
During the Pandemic, I've worked on Sorry. in fits and starts. Random deep dives into mythology and Creation myths; rewrites . . . more rewrites . . . and more rewrites . . . I could rewrite it forever. There's so much material . . . The louder, "me-too" media attention doesn't interest me. What catches my attention are the smaller, day to day, deeper traces of what has been in place for thousands of years.
Two sublime examples of how women are devalued and dismissed occurred at the October 5th staged reading:
After the technical rehearsal for Sorry. , I asked a young male volunteer for the running script back.. He walked over to the trash, reached in, and pulled out my script. Running scripts are marked with lighting and sound cues for the show, often referred to as The Bible. They are sacred. They are not thrown away and certainly not the day before a performance.
Post-reading on October 5th, I overheard two men talking in the lobby about the three pieces they had seen. Sorry. was the third piece:
A: That third piece. I didn’t like it. It was like a Caryl Churchill piece.”
B: Yeah. I don’t know what that is, but I didn’t like it either.”
That comment still pleases me.
Two years later, I discovered the grass-roots level of dismissal women suffer in this country. Without question, this example demonstrates how sexism operates at the highest levels of our federal government:
According to the IRS, my HUSBAND’S name is first on a tax return as the "Primary Taxpayer," even though thanks to a great job in academia, I am the actual "Primary Taxpayer." The IRS takes this positioning on paper very seriously.
So seriously in fact, a payment I made wasn’t credited to our account - because I had used MY social security number and I’m not considered the "Primary Taxpayer." Except that I AM the primary taxpayer, quite literally.
Months after making this payment, we received a bill from the IRS for the exact same amount of money. When we spoke in person, the whole primary/secondary problem was untangled, but the IRS could not find my payment. How could that be possible? Where do payments from "secondary" taxpayers go? Is there a women's portal? Eventually, the IRS miraculously “found” my payment.
I'm sure there will be many more stories . . .
Today is October 5th 2021. We are on the other side of The Pandemic now, mostly, and this play needs air. I’m more than halfway through now, with a final draft. It will be finished very soon. Maybe today.
Happy 2nd Birthday, Sorry.
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